


SmashAU Subspace Emissary 2: Any time is zombie time!

by An_Awning_Mouse



Series: SmashAU [4]
Category: Meta Runner, Paper Mario, Persona 3, Plants vs. Zombies - Fandom, SMG4's Mario bloopers, Super Smash Brothers
Genre: AU, Belle's a bit nicer, Crack Treated Seriously, Crossover, Dave is CRAAAAAAAZY, Fight Scenes, Morbid art, No beta reader, Not Beta Read, Subspace Emissary, mostly due to a good first impression, references, self indulgent, some light swearing, still kind of snarky though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:34:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25832848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/An_Awning_Mouse/pseuds/An_Awning_Mouse
Summary: One of the few who fought against the Fall of mankind, a pro gamer who's prowess is only matched by her attitude, and a Crazy guy who likes plants band together to battle against the devastation wrought at the hands of a YouTube machinimist, a talking case of twelve colored pencils, and a huge wave of zombies.This truly is the the most ambitious crossover of all time.(Big thanks to PowerPad for coming up with this scenario and allowing me to use it. Go check them out.)
Series: SmashAU [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1837948
Comments: 5
Kudos: 6





	SmashAU Subspace Emissary 2: Any time is zombie time!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PowerPad](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PowerPad/gifts).
  * Inspired by [SMASH AU: Subspace 2, chapter 16: The Red Streamer of Crazy Dave's neighborhood.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25509292) by [PowerPad](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PowerPad/pseuds/PowerPad). 



> Hey everyone reading! This is without a doubt my longest work yet, so I'm slightly nervous about posting it, but I'm also really excited to get it out there. 
> 
> Some clarifications:
> 
> . Belle's character comes from just a short while after her and Lucks' car chase after Tari, Leo, and Lamar, so she doesn't know about the incident with Prject Blue yet.
> 
> . Junpei comes from after the events of Persona 4 arena Ultimax.
> 
> . Crazy Dave comes from after the events of every Plants vs. Zombies game except 3, which I consider noncanon because I don't like it.
> 
> . If a character from Meta Runner exists in both their universe and the SMG4 universe, the two versions are separate.

Date: Zombie attack no. 928374651- ERROR INTEGER OVERFLOW

Location: Sundrop hills, Neighborville suburbs

It was a bit of an unusual day in Neighborville, and not because of the huge horde of shambling undead seeking desperately to feast upon the townspeople and their brains; that in and of itself was normal. What was unusual was the massive portal that had pulled the humble suburban vale into another realm and stuck it somewhere else as part of some strange hodgepodge world, as well as the fact that a towering shadowy edifice had erected in the middle of Main Street with a big sign that read "SMG3's gauntlet of gloom, nerds keep out." Though the hiding humans didn't take much notice of this, as they barely left their homes anyway, the zombies were totally befuddled, in spite of (or maybe because of) their lacking intellect. However, they brain-eaters kept at what they tried to do best, getting brainz. The meddling plants that usually stopped them were conspicuously absent, and even their ever-hungering leader Dr.Zomboss had made himself scarce for some reason, meaning that his shambling servants had a decent shot at actually gorging themselves on all the gray matter they wanted without getting shot by peas or forced to hand it over to their boss on threat of a hornet shower.

Little did the zombies know that bad luck had a way of laying waste to even the best laid plans.

Meanwhile, in the dark and musty garage of a home that had long been emptied of any inhabitants (the savvy owner had sold when the first signs of an "apocalypse" had shown, convinced that a zombie attack would massively drive down the property value.), a reasonably sized blue portal opened in the air and spat out a young man with blue casual attire and a metal baseball bat before vanishing just as quickly as it arrived.

" _Ta da da-_ oomph! Alright, maybe that wasn't my best idea."

 _Who the man, he the man_ : **Junpei Iori**

Junpei peeled himself off of the floor and dusted himself off as he got his bearings, mentally recounting what had brought him here: He and the rest of the Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad had gotten together at his place for a meeting after the "Ultimax Arena incident," when his TV had started acting up, blaring static with the screen rippling like water. Memories of what that Narukami guy had told them about The Midnight Channel fresh in his mind, Junpei knew that something was up, and had leapt through without hesitation, landing himself wherever this place was.

"Probably should have waited up for the rest of the gang," Junpei admitted, before shrugging. "Eh, I'm sure they'll be following me here sooner or later! (If Mitsuru doesn't hit me with an execution first...)" Junpei shivered for a second as he thought back to his leader's notorious temper, before deciding to head out and get the lay of the land, pushing the garage door up. "Guess I better see where _here_ is first."

Greeting "Tha Man" was an average suburban neighborhood, lined with picturesque houses and lawns, but with a towering fortress looming on the horizon. "That doesn't look good. Looks like this is a job for Junpei Iori, ace detective!" Catching a glimpse of a figure stumbling down the sidewalk, he called out to them, running down the driveway to meet them. "Heya! Listen, you think you can tell me what's going on here?"

Junpei, however, was soon unpleasantly surprised by the figure suddenly jerking his head towards him. Now that Iori had a closer look, something was very wrong with this individual. Their skin was a sickly shade of gray, their business clothes were tattered and torn, and they moved with no spark of human intelligence, but rather with predatory instinct that was not unlike that of a shadow. A groan of "Brainzzz..." escaping from their slack-jawed maw, the **zombie** lunged for Junpei, arms outstretched to grab at his cranium.

"Whoa!" Thankfully, fighting the dark hour had given Junpei plenty of combat experience. Ducking under the grey grasping hands, he jammed the end of his bat into the zombies stomach. Though zombies didn't need air and couldn't really have the wind knocked out of them, this did knock it to the ground with a yelp, setting him up for Junpei's favorite finishing move. Winding up, he swung his bat directly into the undead creatures face.

Some legends say that zombies head is still orbiting around the planet to this day.

Junpei panted from his moderately-close-to-death experience (A monster from a second rate zombie horror flick would never compare to fighting The Fall) as the headless corpse fell to the ground. "What was with that guy?! He was totally trying to off me, but he didn't look too much like a shadow...." Then again, some people had started acting pretty weird during S.E.E.S's showdown with Nyx, but they and their leader had put a stop to that, so something was definitely up. Squinting towards the tower in the distance, Junpei thought aloud further. "That SMG3 guy's discount Tarterus seems pretty out of place.... I bet he's behind this!" 

Junpei, now dead set on what to do next, started sprinting towards the tower. Whether Shadows or zombies, he was sure that his baseball skill and Persona would set everything straight!

\----------

Meanwhile, at the edifice of evil, the titular owner of the gauntlet of gloom schemed, pacing about and rubbing his hands together in incredibly stereotypical villain fashion. Similarly to his rival SMG4, the mad lad resembled an N64 Mario recolor, but his overalls and cap were indigo, with a black shirt worn along with them. Plastered on the front of his cap was a cartoonish skull logo, locked into a perpetual sneer.

 _Machinima "Mastermind":_ **SMG3**

"That idiot SMG4 thinks he's _so_ much better than me," SMG3 grumbled as he stomped back and forth, "But look who's laughing now! Thanks to that neon butterfly, I've got a brand new base here, and I hardly even have to pay for security thanks to all those zombies stumbling around down there. Soon, I'll be able to completely rebuild Snitch Productions, steal the YouTube remote, and exert my iron grip over all of the Internet at last! I'll have more subs than Honeypie and B-series combined!"

"I would hold off on the celebration until _after_ you hand over what's been promised, you uncultured swine." A new voice huffed from behind SMG3, and an awkward scraping sound filled the air as the riotous ripoff turned to speak with his supervisor. A large red case with a peculiar insignia carved into it was the one who'd been speaking, and it's lid clapped open and closed as it spoke, revealing twelve super sized colored pencils. " My liege King Olly, and Neo Tabuu by extension, might have deigned to restore your ugly tower to its full quote-unquote _glory,_ but you still haven't supplied him with the Time Stone, and we won't be wasting the full extent of our valuable troops and supplies until you give it to him."

 _The missile maestro:_ **Jean-Pierre Colored Pencils XII** _(Colored Pencils for short)_

SMG3 bristled at this, and drew himself up as tall as he could whilst stomping the ground to assert himself. "Hey, no need for any shit-talk!" He yelled back, before adding, "Besides, it's not like I've failed to find it or decided to withhold it or anything. See, I've got it right here." The terrible 'Tuber rustled through his pockets, before pulling out a small green rock in the shape of an oval, pulsing with temporal power. "We just gotta wait until Olly sends his dumb paper Paragoombas over to pick us up, and I'll give it up."

Jean-Pierre snorted. "You'd better. At any rate, I'll be on top of your highest tower, scoping out the scenery for my next masterpiece. The shambling undead hordes driving these frivolous townsfolk to hide in their homes make for surprisingly diverse subjects for drawing!" With that, the art attacker flung into the air, and launched several Colored Pencils out of his case to supply lift, propelling him to the scenic overlook.

SMG3 rolled his eyes. "Classic art hipster," he muttered, before calling up, "alright, fine. If you need me, I'll be down here monologuing." With that, the Internet insurgent was again absorbed in his own devices and thoughts of victory.

\-------------

Back on the ground, Junpei was beginning to make his way through the neighborhood, fighting zombies along the way. They really weren't much worse than the one he had encountered earlier; some were wearing junk picked up off the street like traffic cones and buckets on their heads, but this didn't really offer much protection, and Junpei dispatched them in short order without even needing to use his Persona. 

What was slightly unnerving to Junpei was the various drawings graffitied across the suburbs. While they were admittedly pretty good drawings, Junpei was more concerned with what they were depicting.

A twisted jumble of masked faces and dark hands, each grasping a sword.

A smoking revolver, pointed squarely at the perspective of whoever was looking at it.

A tall silhouette with hollow eyes and a jagged grin stretched across its face, standing in contrast with the full moon right behind them.

Shaking off his dread, Da Man sprinted onward through the suburbs of Sundrop hills, and came across three tough-looking zombies in football gear, shaking a small camper van. A girl about his age with reddish hair, a black shirt and white jacket combo, and a metal arm(?!) was on top of the van and out of their reach, looking more bored than anything as she summoned a fireball and sent it spiraling towards a faraway group of basic zombies, roasting them to a smoldering crisp.

"(Must be better fighting from a distance,)" Iori figured as he ran up behind one of the foul footballers. "Never fear, Junpei's here!" He swung at the back of a football zombie's head, but it was quick to recover and charged at him with a tackle, knocking him backwards. Whistling for its two brethren, all three all-stars began repeatedly scuffing the ground with their cleats, preparing for a simultaneous charge.

Alright, now it was probably time for him to bust out his Persona. Unholstering his Evoker and pointing it at his head, Junpei called out. **"Persona!"**

As the trigger pulled, a burst of bright blue energy erupted from Junpei's head, and formed into a sleek winged being in a red and gold suit. **Trismegistus** flew forward and unleashed a furious flurry of strikes from two golden blades, decapitating the wounded football zombie and sending the two remaining reeling. Seeing an opportunity, the girl cast her hand towards the ground, and a pillar of dirt and rock erupted right underneath one All-star's chin. The unorthodox uppercut sent yet another undead head flying, and the pillar then toppled over onto the last remaining jock, leaving it pinned and harmless as it futilely struggled to push itself free.

The girl jumped down from her perch, and walked over to the battling batter, normal hand outstretched. "Guess I should say thanks," she said, "I was itching to get off of that van."

Junpei accepted the handshake. "Hey, it's no biggie. Just had a run-in with those zombies myself, miss-?"

The girl raised an eyebrow and slightly frowned, mildly surprised. "You haven't heard of me? This place must be pretty far from Silica city. Anyway, name's Belle Fontiere. Charmed, I'm sure."

 _Triumph of TAScorp:_ **Belle Fontiere**

"So, who are you, and where are we?"

"Junpei Iori, but I'm not sure where here is either," Junpei admitted, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. "Some kind of freaky portal brought me to one of these houses, and I had just gotten out on the street when one of those goons tried to jump me."

Belle held an arm up. "Wait, a portal?" She asked. "So I'm not the only one who got sucked into this freaky free-for-all against zombies and who knows what else?"

\-----------  
_"No! Damn it all!" Lucks growled as he yanked the portable console out of its dock and paced about his R &D department. He and his top scientists had been traipsing through the code of the corrupted copy of Ultra Jump Mania, but they'd had no results since they had started, and he was beginning to lose his patience. "We've been at it for hours now, and nothing. What do I even pay you idiots for? And you," he snapped at the door guard, who flinched and hid his own game pad behind his back, "we may not have any intruders, but that's no excuse for you to slack off, so put your game away and do your job!"_

_The guard sighed, complying, but noticed the low battery on his game pad and decided to plug it into the unoccupied dock for now. What was the harm?_

_Belle leaned against the wall next to Lucks, arms folded. "Anger management, Lucks. Ever heard of it?"_

_The corrupt CEO whirled on her, pointing right in her face. "Don't you dare start with me," he huffed coldly. He face was twisted into an ugly sneer as he went on. "If we cannot understand the full extent of the anomaly within the game, we'll never understand the full extent of Tari and her abilities, and the less we understand about her, the less chance we have of getting her to work for us, rather than against. If I were you, I wouldn't be treating this situation do flippantly."_

_Belle simply snorted. She knew that she was Lucks' best Meta Runner, so by now his threats were starting to fall on deaf ears. After all, why would he ever get rid of his biggest moneymaker? She was practically the face of the company. "Lucks, seriously, you need to chill!" Coolly striding towards the flat-screen used to host the console dock, she turned around and rested her hand on the monitor, smirking. "I mean, why d'you even need that girl so much? Sure, she got lucky with those tricks she pulled back at the speedrunner arena, and she can do that weird...... _thing,_ but I doubt she can even control either. Just stick to ol' reliable, alright?"_

_Lucks did not respond, staring past his champion with a dumbfounded expression. Belle's grin shrunk slightly, and eventually dropped completely when she realized that her hand did not feel like it was resting against glass, but rather was dipped under liquid like water._

_Turning her head, she saw her hand sticking into the TV, the screen rippling. Before the Meta Runner could move or say anything on the matter, she felt a strong pulling sensation, and her eyes widened as her head, and the rest of her body, soon followed her hand._

_Lucks turned to the door guard who had been playing earlier with a look that screamed murder. "You're never going to work in this city again."_

\-----------

"-And when I came to, I was lying on the ground next to some TV station back around there," Belle recapped, pointing her thumb behind her towards a distant hill. She, of course, had to omit a few details concerning the specifics (Lucks would have even her head when she got back otherwise), but the anti-shadow operative had gotten the gist. "I wasn't expecting to be able to cast spells straight out of Tempest now, but that was actually a pleasant surprise. The zombies weren't. Those football ones took way more hurt than the smaller ones, so I figured I'd camp on that van and wait 'em out. Then you showed up."

Junpei nodded. "So we both showed up here the same way?" He asked, rubbing his chin. "Something tells me that we both got sent here by the same guy. And I'm also willing to bet," he continued, pointing towards the dark tower in the distance, "that the guy's holed up in there!"

Belle looked off into the distance at the tacky neon sign on the tower. "SMG3, huh? Can't say I've heard of them, but the big stereotypical evil tower thing they've got going on doesn't hurt your theory." Turning back to the self-proclaimed ace detective, she asked, "Any ideas on how to get there quickly? Fighting these zombies is pretty fun and all, but-"

The ground suddenly and violently shook, causing the dimensionally-displaced duo to stumble. The tremors continued, getting louder and louder, forcing Junpei and Belle to shout to be heard over the cacophony.

_"WHAT THE HECK'S CAUSING THIS EARTHQUAKE?!"_

_"I DUNNO, BUT WHATEVER IT IS, IT CAN'T BE GOOD!"_

_"NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!" ___

__Just then, the tremors ceased just as quickly as they had started. Junpei was about to ask Belle if she was alright, but the Meta Runner was currently gazing above him, eyes wide with panic, and so he turned around to see what was behind him._ _

__Only to quickly back up several steps when he got a look._ _

__Towering over both Belle and Junpei was the biggest zombie they'd seen yet, wearing a worn and stretched undershirt, large brown shoes, and size XXXXXXXXXXXXL jeans. Growling menacingly, it brandished a telephone pole (no doubt ripped right out of the ground) that was bent and broken towards the top end (no doubt from smashing people and houses. Strangest of all, a much, much smaller zombie (while the two humans only stood as tall as the gargantuan beast's bottom half, this zombie wouldn't even stand above their ankles) was poking its head out of a trash can that had been bound to its back, bursting into periodic fits of evil giggling._ _

___"What the hell kind of zombie is that?!"_ Belle panicked, shaking in place._ _

__Junpei held his bat in front of him defensively, but his grip, too, was wavering. "Well, it ain't Barney the purple dinosaur....." He lamely joked, trying to lighten the mood._ _

__The giant leaned closer, nostrils twitching as it sniffed at the air. **"GARGANTUAR SMELL BRAINZ,"** he bellowed, hoisting its makeshift club into the air, **"ME SMASH PUNY LIVING PEOPLE!"**_ _

___HE SMASH!_ : **The Gargantuar** _(feat. Imp)__ _

__Gargantuar rushed forward to slam the ground with its club, Belle and Junpei just barely diving out of the way before it made deadly impact, crumbling the road. The Titan was unfettered by his miss, and quickly held he weapon aloft for another try at smacking the unlikely team._ _

__Junpei panted as he and Belle sprinted, both trying to put as much distance between them and the supreme zombie as possible. "We can't let that thing hit us!"_ _

__Belle nodded frantically, but her pace slowed down as she caught a glimpse of Gargantuar leveling the end of his telephone pole towards them. "Hang on, I think it's trying something!" Sure enough, the pole started spewing beams of electricity, the deluxe-sized danger chuckling in an ominous baritone as he tried to fry them both. "Watch out!" Belle yelled, and she quickly rose another rock wall from the earth, blocking the brunt of the bolts._ _

__"Thanks," Junpei said as he leaned against their cover and caught his breath, "but now what do we do? If we try to run, we'll get zapped, and if we stay put, he'll catch up and clobber us!"_ _

__The pro gamer massaged her temples in thought. Finally, she slammed a fist into her palm and said, "we'll wait until he catches up, then hit him with our best."_ _

__Junpei grinned. He liked the sound of that. "I hit him high, you hit him low?"_ _

__Belle smirked back. "Got it. Wait for it....."_ _

__The two could hear Gargantuar's thundering footfalls as he made his way over to their cover, keeping his telephone pole primed in case they tried to flee. **"PUNY BRAIN HAVERS,"** he called in a sing-song tone of voice, **"WHERE IS YOU? ME JUST WANT TO HAVE YOU FOR LUNCH! AND BREAKFAST. AND DINNER. DESSERT TOO. MMM, BRAINZ DESSERT...."**_ _

___"Now, go!"_ _ _

___"Alright, here it comes!"_ _ _

__The stone wall parted, and Belle repaid the undead juggernaut in kind with a blast of electricity to the chest, making him howl in pain and stumble backwards in literal and figurative shock. Junpei then summoned Trismegistus once more, the Persona flying up and unleashing a burst of hellish flames from above, further adding to the assault. Finally, the rock halves shot forward and slammed into Gargantuar at high speeds while Trismegistus unleashed a single _brave blade_ strike for a devastating finish to the combo._ _

__Gargantuar swayed back and forth, dizzy and groaning- only to quickly shake himself out of the stupor, unleashing an inhuman roar. "Damn, we couldn't finish it off!" Junpei swore._ _

__The mighty meathead reached into the trash can on his back, and pulled out the Imp that had been along for the ride. **"IMP, MUNCHY-MUNCH ON BRAINZ FOR GARGANTUAR! SMASH LESS-TINY HUMANS WITH ZOMBAD ATTITUDE!"** Gargantuar then stepped back a decent ways, and hurled Imp towards his quarry like a madly-giggling fastball._ _

__A fastball that Junpei was all too happy to return. Jumping ahead, he took a deep breath, glared at the swiftly enroaching projectile in determined fashion, and cried out, "He swings-!" As he let loose with a valiant strike from his bat, _"And he hits!"__ _

__Some legends say that the head of that zombie from earlier is not alone in orbit._ _

__Gargantuar followed the trajectory in his gaze, but soon snapped back to his foes. **"IMP MAY BE ON FUN SPACE TRIP NOW, BUT GARGANTUAR STILL MASH YOUR BRAINZ OUT! NOW, PREPARE TO-"**_ _

__All of a sudden, a larger-than-life pair of cherries fell from the sky, landing right in front of the massive zombie. Strangely enough, the cherries each had faces curled up into furious glares, and they were both shaking ominously._ _

__"Let's combust!" Said cherry one._ _

__"No, let's burst!" Said cherry two._ _

__"Ok, fine. We'll comburst." Cherry one said, rolling his eyes._ _

__"Fine by me." Cherry two conceded._ _

__The stem of the two cherries ran down like a fuse, and they both exploded with an ear-splitting **"CHA-BOOF,"** leaving the surrounding ground scorched and Gargantuar as a pile of ash with a pair of eyes on top._ _

__Junpei blinked. "Was that one of yours?" He asked. "Because my Persona can't do that."_ _

__Belle shook her head. "Nope. Deadly produce is more along the lines of Ultra Jump Mania. But if that wasn't either of us-"_ _

__Suddenly, a gruff, but friendly voice called down to the two. "Sorry 'bout the mess, new neighbors! Cherry bombs make good cherry booms, but it's cleaning up after that's the hard part."_ _

__Descending from up on high was a white Winnebago camper van, hovering above the ground from some energy being expelled from the tires. Poking his head out the driver side window was a bearded man in a white polo shirt and jeans, with a cooking pot on his head. There was a jovial, if slightly mad, look in his eyes._ _

__Junpei held his hands up in front of his chest, clarifying. "Sorry, we aren't permanent residents. I mean, this is a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't wanna live here!"_ _

__Belle snorted in spite of her near death experience, beginning to grow exhausted with the constant stream of ridiculous events. "Wouldn't even do that much, personally. Fighting giant zombies and barely getting saved by guys with pots on their heads is not how I'd spend a vacation."_ _

__"That's a shame! Tourism sure has been on the decline here in Neighborville ever since the zombies showed up," the man said, sighing sadly, "and less tourism means less tacos." Suddenly perking in in realization, the man gasped. "Wait a second.... That must mean you two musta been brought here by those interdimensional doozywhatsits that Penny told me about!"_ _

__The unlikely teams' eyes widened incredulously. "Wait," Junpei asked, "you know about all these crazy portals?"_ _

__"And who's Penny?" Belle added, tilting her head._ _

__"Oh! Pardon me, but I forgot to introduce myself!" The man exclaimed, pointing a finger in the air in realization. "This is my time-traveling AI-equipped motorhome, Penny, and I'm Crazy Dave! But you can just call me Crazy Dave, no need for formalities."_ _

___Why'd he take so long to appear in his own neighborhood? BECAUSE HE'S CRAAAAAAZY!_ : **Crazy Dave**_ _

___All aboard for an era-hopping road trip_ : **Penny**_ _

__"Apologies for the overdue rescue," the RV beeped, headlights flashing as it spoke, "but cherry bomb seeds require an ample amount of time and sunlight to grow, and there were little other plants in our arsenal that could inflict enough damage to the Gargantuar before it attacked any further."_ _

__Belle slumped forward slightly, arms and jaw hanging down in shock. "No. No way," the meta runner mumbled. "No way does the insane hobo hippie have the kind of super-advanced technology that even TAScorp can't get down pat."_ _

__"Maybe the hobo doesn't," Dave assured, "but I sure do! Even if Penny doesn't let me put her flux capacitor to use anymore."_ _

__"User Dave, your previous attempt to tamper with the time stream resulted in our universe nearly collapsing, only being stopped by the combined efforts of myself and your arch-enemy, Doctor Edgar George Zomboss, all because you wanted to eat your favorite taco again." Penny booped. "With all due respect, I feel as if it would be best if such power was left out of less responsible hands."_ _

__"Hey," Junpei said, knocking on the side of the motorhome, "I don't mean to interrupt, but would it be too much to ask for a lift? Me and Belle here were trying to get to that tower off in the middle of town and it'd be nice if we didn't have to worry about more zombies."_ _

__"Sure thing!" The zany zombie-zapper whooped, pressing a button on the dashboard to open the side door. "Penny's GIGA boost thruster engine will get us to that big tower faster than a speeding squirbo! Just don't open the taco locker unless it's an absolute emergency. Or my backup Bacon bag. I call it Backon. Pretty clever name, huh?"_ _

__\-----------_ _

__As the RV sped through the suburbs, running down any zombie in the way, Junpei and Belle had gone into further detail to each other about what life was like in their worlds._ _

__"Dang!" Junpei mopped his brow in disbelief. "Video games as sports, jobs, and society in some super future world?! Sounds pretty crazy when you put it like that!"_ _

__Belle shrugged, reclining on one of the couches in the backseat area. "Not nearly as crazy as what you just said. I mean, freaky shadow monsters that rise during some hidden late hour of the day? Sounds more like something out of a standard creepypasta."_ _

__"Well, me and my teammates put a stop to the Dark Hour anyway. So how do you know it didn't just happen earlier, before your time?"_ _

__"Heh, fair point. Speaking of crazy, do you think we can trust this guy? He does seem totally nuts."_ _

__"Hey now," Junpei said, "he is sorta nuts, but he bailed us out against that Gargantuar. That makes him ok in my book." He then called up to the drivers seat. "Hey, Dave? Are the zombies a regular thing where you're from?"_ _

__"Oh yes, the Fundead have been around since the dawn of time, give or take thirty minutes," Crazy Dave nodded, "and I've always known they'd invade. But people didn't really start believing me until they'd already shown up. They just kept calling me eccentric, so maybe they mistook me for my old college roommate with a pathological lying addiction, Eccentric Don. Thankfully, I had infused the town with several of my custom-made genetically modified plants beforehand, because I'm just CRAAAAAAAZY like that, and presto squirbo! Peace through Peas was scattered everywhere, like seeds and dirt in my house when I tried to plant on the roof without using flowerpots that one time. Nowadays, the Fundead are still a bit of a problem, but the townsfolk just deal with 'em as they come, like broccoli, which is a good metaphor because they're both green and have stalks."_ _

__"Huh," Belle said, still rather dumbfounded with Dave's scientific achievements. "So I _guess_ you're the smart kind of crazy. Ok. But what's with the nickname?"_ _

__"Fundead? Oh, I just call them that because it sounds a bit nicer. But don't let that fool you!" Dave warned. "The zombies may be slow and dumb and shoddily equipped and goofy and bad-smelling and willing to pack it in and make incredibly catchy music videos when you hit them with too much produce, but if you give them the chance, they'll try to nibble your thinking parts faster than a Chomper at an all-you-can-eat everything buffet, and sometimes they'll even succeed! It's why I wear this saucepan." Dave paused his ramble to knock on his makeshift helmet for emphasis._ _

__Suddenly, one of the doodads one the dashboard started pinging. "Oop! That'd be my _halfway there alert!_ " Dave exclaimed. "In all my years of living I've never gotten an answer to if we were there yet, so I came up with the next best thing than an are-we-there-yet alert. Hold onto your wallnuts, cause Dave airlines has nearly reached our destination!"_ _

__\-----------_ _

__Thirty minutes worth of driving, small talk, and zombie-run-overing later, Penny pulled up to SMG3's gauntlet of gloom, and the Dimensionally displaced duo hopped out. "Sorry folks," Crazy Dave said, "but this is apparently as far as we can take you. Penny's big bad mojo seeker-outer spotted something nastier than zombie smell, and I'd sure hate it if she got blown to smithereens!"_ _

__"To be more specific," Penny chimed in, "my scanners have detected heavy artillery mounted on top of the fortress, as well as dangerous amounts of temporal energy. It is highly recommended that you proceed with utmost caution."_ _

__"But that doesn't mean we can't give you a boost up to take on the big bossy guys at the top. Here you go!" The batty botanist threw a pair of seeds out of the van, which quickly grew into a pair of Melon-pults. He then tossed plant food to the fruits, causing their heads to open like mortars. "Just hop in those, and they'll launch you to the top. It'll be like a fun ride that you'll probably survive!"_ _

__Belle looked skeptical, but eventually sighed and relented, trudging over to a melon mortar. "Well, we don't really have a choice, do we? Thanks for giving us a lift though. If I ever see another zombie again, it'll be too soon."_ _

__Junpei nodded in agreement. "Yeah, thanks man," he said, shooting Crazy Dave a thumbs-up as he hopped into the other launcher. "You really saved our asses back there. We owe you one!"_ _

__Dave waved his hand dismissively. "Daw, don't mention it! Helping fellows to fight the fundead is one of my passions, besides gardening and cooking and eating. Speaking of, I'll be back to throw you a victory party. Extra-tasty bacon tacos, on me!"_ _

__With that, the Melon-pults launched the anti-shadow operative and Meta Runner into the sky along with a salvo of melons, as the goofy gardener who put them there yell up to them with one last piece of advice._ _

___"Hit 'em in the pancreas!"_  
\-----------_ _

__"-And then I'll buy SMG4's stupid channel, become the most popular youtuber out there, and be king of the world!" SMG3 ranted madly, shaking his fists in the air. However, his villainous monologue was interrupted by several silhouettes looming over him from above, and he looked up, confused. "Wait, what the-OH GOD MY ASS-"_ _

__Unable to react in time to escape the brunt of the flung fruit, SMG3 was blasted to the edge of the parapets by the shockwave of melon splatter._ _

__Junpei propped himself up with his bat, wincing from the impact. "Damn! That was one hell of an airlift!" He chuckled, in spite of himself. He then turned to Belle. "You okay?"_ _

__Belle winced, grasping at her knees, before eventually standing up. "I've got an intimate understanding of why the superhero landing just doesn't work IRL, but aside from that, I'm fine." She then gazed across the roof towards the low-polygon Mario pallet swap clinging to a turret for dear life. "Going out on a limb here and assuming that's the guy we need to whack."_ _

__Meanwhile at the edge of the roof, SMG3 pulled himself back up to safer ground, wheezing from the exertion. "Oh God Dammit! I can't believe you're here already!" The content thief groaned, before doing a double take. "Belle, what you doing paling around with this guy?! And why do you look so photorealistic?"_ _

__Junpei looked towards the Meta Runner. "Wait, you know this guy?!"_ _

__However, Belle was clearly just as confused by the accusations, shrugging at the anti-shadow operative. "Uh, no? I dunno how this guy even knows me, unless Lucks hired him to work sanitation or something."_ _

__SMG3 shook his head. "Bah, I'm getting distracted," he muttered, before calling out at the duo with a dramatic point. "Regardless of whoever either of you two are, nothing changes the fact that my recently-hired graphics designer will be more than enough to take care of you!" He then yelled upwards to the main tower containing the red streamer. "I'll screw off with the time stone, you keep these clowns busy!"_ _

__Leaping down with a meaty impact was Jean Pierre Colored Pencils XII himself, clattering against the roof with an incredibly loud hollow plastic noise. "Hold it right there!" The atrocious artist hollered as SMG3 snuck away. "You'd best make like water colors and run, cause I'm here to rep King Olly's Legion of Stationary and draw you into a corner!"_ _

__Belle raise an eyebrow as she readied a fireball. "Not gonna lie, I expected a more creative design for a boss.... I mean, a regular case of colored pencils? What's next, a paper clip?"_ _

__Junpei shrugged. "Eh, I've seen weirder Shadows," he said, flashing back to S.E.E.S's many duels against the creatures of Tarterus, particularly against one sentient, incredibly deadly table. "Just keep your guard up! Something tells me this creep ain't gonna back down without a fight!"_ _

__The Missile Maestro huffed indignantly, slamming his case open and shut repeatedly. "Ex- _cuse_ me? Weird? _Creep?!_ **UNCREATIVE?!?!?** I'm sick of philistines like you disrespecting me and my art! It's high time I draw your pitiful little misadventures to a close!"_ _

__With that, Colored Pencils suddenly opened his case, revealing a line of twelve of his namesake tools of the trade, in all colors of the rainbow. He snickered as each of them primed and roared to life, prepared to fire at any moment._ _

__"I have to say," the cultured cretin said, a dangerous excitement creeping into his speech, "I'm excited to witness how my art-ilery fares at scribbling over your peculiar fleshy bodies! Prepare for some **Coloring Fire!** "_ _

__Junpei drew his evoker, but a pencil missile roared past his hand, knocking it clean from his grip and sending it sliding off the tower. "Tsk tsk," Colored Pencils tutted, "resorting to your trump card already, Iori? I can't say I'm surprised, but disappointed is another ball game."_ _

__That confirmed Junpei's suspicions. "So you have heard of me before, and that's how you knew what to draw in advance to psyche me out! But how'd you get that info?" He asked. "It's been a few years since the dark hour ended!"_ _

__"Wouldn't you like to know?" Jean-Pierre snickered. "I will say this, my employers employers employer has done his research, on you and many others. I'm glad you appreciated my tributes to your _glory_ , but even those pale in comparison to my latest masterpiece!"_ _

__The stationary legionary spat out a piece of paper. Sketched on it was a depiction of the inside of a volcano, with someone plummeting into the magma with a timer in the corner. The character in the drawing had fallen in head first, but the red metal arm and what left of the character that could be seen were dead giveaways to their identity._ _

__Belle's face locked into a deep scowl. "Oh, you are so dead."_ _

__"I beg to differ," Jean-Pierre retorted, "it is _you_ who will be dead. After all, art imitates life..... **which in turn, imitates art!** " With that, Colored Pencils fired a missile high into the air that nearly crashed down on his foes, forcing them to quickly sidestep. "There's plenty more where that came from! I'm a one-man air raid, with missiles in spades!"_ _

__As the sketchy salvo taunted them, preparing to launch another volley, Junpei turned to Belle and whispered to her. "Hey, I've got an idea, but you're gonna need to draw this guy's fire."_ _

__The Meta Runner shot him a deadpan look. "Seriously?"_ _

__"Pun not intended," Junpei said, reddening slightly, "but yeah. Don't worry, Da Man has a plan!"_ _

__With that, Da man in question started making his way around the tower to get behind Jean-Pierre, who was beginning his artful assault in earnest now. Belle knew that the earth wall wouldn't be nearly as effective against attack from the air, so she decided to outspeed the missiles. Using a wind speed to boost herself around, she dodged the hailstorm while sometimes taking breaks to fire short blasts of fire and electricity, cringing when the occasional near-miss missile screamed past her ears._ _

__If Colored Pencils was taking significant damage, he wasn't showing it. "You can't keep this up forever!" He raved, readying another barrage. "Creative destruction is my forte, and-" suddenly, the artist of atrocities stopped, and glanced around, as if only just realizing something. "Wait just one second..... Weren't there two of you? Where'd he go?!"_ _

__As if cue, Junpei jumped from behind Jean-Pierre and stomped his lid shut. _"Ta da da da!"_ he exclaimed, striking a dramatic pose. "Ace detective Junpei saves the day once again!"_ _

__Belle exhaled in relief and ran her fingers through her hair, glad that she no longer had to serve as bait. "So your big plan was to stomp on him from behind?"_ _

__"Pretty much," Junpei admitted. "He was such a chatterbox, I figured we could turn that against him, and-" the battling batter's explanation was cut short by Jean-Pierre's lid beginning to shake ominously. "Uh-oh. This guys about to blow his lid! Better clear some distance!"_ _

__As Junpei and Belle backed up, Jean-Pierre rattled about on the ground in a panic. "No! NO!" He screamed, muffled by his case. "My lid is closed! I CAN'T STOP MY MISSILES!"_ _

__With that, Colored Pencils lid burst open with a flurry of self-damaging pyrotechnics, leaving him stunned and coughing up multicolored smoke. Junpei, sensing opportunity, called out. "Now's our chance, let's get 'em!"_ _

__Belle charged up a large fireball and threw it to inflict damage while the stationary legionary recovered, and Junpei raced in with his bat to deliver a close-up Beatdown. Eventually though, the mad artist recovered, and sent the anti-shadow operative skidding backwards with a powerful snap of his lid. "There! How do YOU like it when someone cramps your battle style?! _Bites,_ doesn't it?!"_ _

__Da Man leaned over to his unlikely teammate. "Does this guys' even know what constructive criticism is?"_ _

__"Probably not," Belle replied coolly, "so let's give him a few examples. Hey, art nerd! Your puns are all forced and aren't even funny."_ _

__"Forced, eh?" Colored Pencils growled. "That reminds me of one of my favorite tools when I suffer from artists block: _brute force!_ " the missile maestro launched his next barrage directly onto the Meta Runner's position, and when the dust cleared, she was missing from her spot. "Hah! That'll teach you to diss my puns. They're an art form all their own, don't you know!"_ _

__"And you evidently don't know how to cover up your weakness."_ _

__Belle, having just used another wind-boosted jump, landed on Jean-Pierre's lid again. The artist had a mere moments notice to mutter "you blasted-" before suffering another case of disastrous backfire that his adversaries once again capitalized on to inflict further damage. Groaning, he shook himself back into the zone; if he had teeth, he'd be gritting them right now. "Ugh.... You just think you've got it all figured out, don't you?! I'm through taking your disrespect for fine artistry. Now you'll face my _ultimate attack_! **Behold my Rainbow Roll!** "_ _

__Slamming his case flat open on the ground, Colored Pencils curled all his missiles into a circle, and they began rotating wildly like a Gatling gun. "No slamming me shut during this attack, I'm afraid!" He sneered over the roaring _brr_ of his trump card, "You can't interrupt me during my Rainbow Roll!"_ _

__"Shit, shutting it won't work anymore?!" Junpei asked, now significantly more worried. "Now what?!"_ _

__Belle rose another earth wall in front of the spiraling pencils. "Duck and pray?" She halfheartedly suggested._ _

__"...Doesn't look like we can do much else right now."_ _

__Jean-Pierre laughed madly as his missile whirled through the air like an over locked gear. " _I'll pierce right through you, turn you into a taxidermy, and use you as models for my next sketch!_ **PREPARE TO DIE!** "_ _

__With that, Colored Pencils fired his entire art-senal towards the wall at Mach speed. Each cracked the wall more and more, some even getting stuck midway through before exploding, and by the time the barrage was over, the rock wall was a pile of pebbles._ _

__Jean-Pierre seemed undeterred by his miss. "Oh dear," he mocked, voice dripping with sarcasm, "it would seem as if though you've survived. It _sure would be a shame if I could just instantly ready my Rainbow Roll again....._ " twelve more pencil missiles materialized from nowhere and rolled up again, rotating even faster than before and creating a slight suction. **"Oh wait, I CAN!"**_ _

__Junpei and Belle were exhausted by this point, but they still stood as tall and defiantly as they could. If they were going down, they were going down swinging._ _

__" **HAHAHAHAHAHA-** huh?!?"_ _

__Just as Jean-Pierre was about to pull the proverbial trigger, two long green arms had wrapped around his pencil payload and yanked it away. The unlikely team looked up to see Crazy Dave flying by in Penny, holding a water-filled vase holding some sort of sentient tangled kelp that had been the source of the two vines. Both Junpei and Belle couldn't help but grin at the sight. "Dave!" The anti-shadow operative called out. "You just bailed us out again! We owe you one!"_ _

__"This is the second time today I've been happy to see you. And that's two more than even I expected." Belle added._ _

__Crazy Dave waved out the window to them. "You're welcome, neighbors! I couldn't just sit by as this fella dropped all his pencils off the roof. Those are as much as a pain to find as my keys, or the front side of my pants! Speaking of losing things," he continued, tossing Junpei his evoker, "your doodad knocked me on the noggin on the way up. Good thing I had my saucepan!"_ _

__"User Dave," Penny warned, "This Pencil Case is the source of the anti-air artillery that posed a significant risk to my chassis earlier. I would recommend handling this situation swiftly and cautiously before celebrating with users Junpei and Belle."_ _

__"You're darn right about the risk!" Colored Pencils impotently screamed from the roof. "For I am no mere Pencil Case, you insane cretin! I am Jean-Pierre Colored Pencils XII, the greatest artistic mind of our time, and I demand that you return what is mine right this instant!"_ _

__"Oh, sorry!" Dave sheepishly scratched the back of his neck, unrattled by the threats from the stationary legionary. "Kelpy's normally a lot better behaved than this. Here, he'll hand your pencils back right now! Kelpy, drop."_ _

__The Tangle Kelp's red eyes glinted dangerously as it raised the pencils in the air._ _

__Jean-Pierre quickly skidded backwards in fear, trembling. _"NonononoNONONONONO WAIT-!"__ _

__The Tangle Kelp slammed its catch back down on the missile maestro before he could react, and the bombs erupted in a colorful mushroom cloud. When the dust settled, Jean-Pierre was lying there, bent, dented, and scorched._ _

__"N-no......my wonderful pencils! My beautiful case! RUINED! You'll pay for this!" The crumpled case read itself as high up as it could muster....._ _

__before coming down on the heads of Junpei and Belle in a halfhearted slam attack that did next to no damage._ _

__Junpei turned to his two unlikely allies. "Alright, now's our chance to finish this! Who's up for an all out attack?"_ _

__"Hell yes!" Belle pumped her hands in the air. "I've been waiting to do this since this fight started!"_ _

__"Sure thing! BECAUSE I'M CRAAAAAAAZY!" Dave cheered. "Offend his shins, if he has any!"_ _

___"Game's over, asshole!"_ _ _

___"WOOP-DEE-DOO! Here we come!"_ _ _

___"Get back here, you sonuva-!"_ _ _

__The trio charged._ _

__\-----------_ _

__By the time the Beatdown was over and done with, Jean-Pierre was twitching on the ground and cracked all over. "Guh......I can't believe this," he groaned with the last of his strength. "Defeated by some shallow waif-bait made by a guy who should've stuck to Machinima, a buffoon who helped to kill SMT by polluting it into casual swill people have only played on YouTube, and a microtransactions-peddling idiot who's better days are far behind him! You lot were better before they sold out........" With that, the missile maestro breathed his last, before finally expiring in a dramatic explosion._ _

__Belle turned to Junpei and Dave. "Any idea what the literal talking pencil case meant by that?" She asked._ _

__Da man shrugged. "Nah."_ _

__"Nope!" Dave chirped as he rummaged through a bag and tossed his new pals a bacon-taco each. "Maybe something about squirbos?"_ _

__"That's what I thought," Belle said, before taking a bite of her taco. "Mmm, this is so good!"_ _

__"Yeah man," Junpei added, tucking into his, "it's more savory than anything I've tasted! What the heck's in it?"_ _

__"Oh, I dunno," Dave said, munching on two tacos simultaneously. "I forgot the recipe, so I went back in time and grabbed these from myself!"_ _

__Anti-shadow operative and Meta Runner alike paused mid-bite at this. "Wait, but didn't Penny say-?"_ _

__Penny released a digitized sigh. "I tried to warn him."_ _

__Crazy Dave gave his creation and transportation a playful pat. "Aw, come now Penny! What's the worst thing that could happen?"_ _

__Without warning, a colossal blue tear ripped open in the sky, unleashing a storm of cerulean energy upon the suburbs. Hundreds of thousands of temporally-displaced zombies plummeted right out of the sky, dotting the entire landscape. Some hailed from as early as the dawn of mankind, while others had come from the furthest of bad futures, but the one thing they all had in common was the cry that rang out amongst them as a primal roar echoed from the time rift._ _

__**"BRAINZZZ!"** _ _

__Belle turned to the batty botanist with the most deadpan expression she could muster. "If you ever say that again. I'm hitting you with that saucepan."_ _

__With no time for any further discussion, the unlikely trio leaped through Penny's doors, and Dave hit the gas, sending them flying over the towards the horizon as a huge pirate ship crashed into the Gauntlet of Gloom, tearing half of it down right then and there._ _

__"Hope that Mister Boss Guy isn't too mad about me breaking time again," Dave guiltily muttered. "Where is he, anyhow?"_ _

__\--------------_ _

__Location: Z-tech ultimate Kaos blimp OF DOOM!_ _

__Date: 36 hours until inevitable triumph for the ultimate forces of evil_ _

__"Hmm?" Doctor Edgar George Zomboss felt a sudden chill on the back of his oversized cranium, and looked up from the handheld video game he was playing, Zombies vs. Plants 2: High time to finish things. Next to him, a rather short bald man in a black robe with a peculiar rune etched into his forehead removed his sunglasses and looked up from his tanning sheet. (Which was rather useless anyway, considering that their airship was still producing a mass of zombie fog that blotted out any sun rays that could have made an impact.)_ _

___The Brainiac Mainiac _: **Dr.Zomboss**__ _ _

_____disciple of the darkness_ : **Kaos**_ _ _ _

____"Eh? Whatever is the matter, my partner in DOOM-dealing?" Kaos, dark portal master and self-proclaimed scourge of the Skylands asked._ _ _ _

____Dr.Zomboss shook his head dismissively. "Oh, nothing at all, my fellow evil genius," the undead leader responded, turning back to his game. "It's just that, somehow, I have a feeling that my arch-nemesis, that Insane Dave person, is out there pulling off some unbelievably trivial nonsense involving time travel that's putting our entire timestream at risk."_ _ _ _

____"Bah! You worry too much, old chum!" Kaos sneered, giving the thanatological Doctor a friendly shove to the back of his head. "That cookware-wearing _fool_ couldn't even touch us at this point if he wanted to." Kaos jumped to his feet, in thorough "mastermind mode," and was pacing back and forth wildly gesticulating with his arms. "All we have to do now," he continued, "is perfect our ULTIMATE ZOMBIE-DOOMLANDER ARMY OF ULTIMATE EVIL DOOM, and destroy our arch enemies _and_ that stuck-up Neo Tabuu fool once and for all! Then I can conquer the Skylands, you can, erm....."_ _ _ _

____"Establish complete and utter dominance over my local suburban subdivision!"_ _ _ _

____"Yeah, what you said, and we can rule as we see fit! **Forever!** "_ _ _ _

____That had the Brainiac Mainiac up on his feet and grinning as well. "Kaos, my friend, you know exactly how to perk up my mood! Now, toast by maniacally laughing with me, as we celebrate our ensured triumph!"_ _ _ _

____**"AH-HAHAHAHAHAHA!"** _ _ _ _

____**"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"** _ _ _ _

____Eventually, the terrible twosomes cackling ceased as they both broke into coughing fits._ _ _ _

____"Eugh. Note to self: never maniacally laugh on a dry throat." Dr.Zomboss grumbled._ _ _ _

____"Dully noted," Kaos chimed in, "and I wholeheartedly agree." The card carrying villain imperiously called out of the room. "Glumshanks, fetch me a pillow! My neck aches!"_ _ _ _

____"And Brian! Supply us with some hearty cold beverages to ensure we can indulge in our tyrannical mirth to our cold, shriveled hearts content!" Dr.Zomboss yelled out in a rather similar way._ _ _ _

____A green, lanky troll leaned into the room, followed by a Zombie in tattered office clothing with a flag strapped to his back._ _ _ _

____"Right away, Lord Kaos." Glumshanks sighed, trudging off to the laundry room._ _ _ _

____"Brainz." Brian groaned, which roughly meant something along the lines of, "you got it, boss."_ _ _ _

____Along their way to serve their respective evil overlords, the two beleaguered assistants shared a single, longsuffering look between each other._ _ _ _

____"Does yours have an ego the size of the land of the undead too?"_ _ _ _

____"Brainz."_ _ _ _

____"Huh. Small multiverse....."_ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Be sure to leave constructive feedback and kudos if you liked it!


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